In the wake of no known rumours or heady speculation, the fans’ champion Tabloid can this morning EXCLUSIVELY reveal the whereabouts of former Lions legend Mark Duthie.
The diminutive winger, famed for his blistering speed and near-transparent milky skin, was recently spotted on an obscure American public access TV show entitled “Death we defy you!” attempting to jump over 24 articulated lorries on a child’s tricycle. Sporting a fluorescent green and black leather jumpsuit,
Following extensive research we managed to track Duthie down to hospital in
Despite his obvious discomfort, Duthie continued “I started jumping toy cars on a scooter, and before I knew it I was on a tricycle clearing whole Action Men. I’ve always admired Evil Knievel so figured anything he could do I could do better. But it looks like I misjudged the stunt slightly, but only by 23 lorries or so.”
We then asked Duthie what his plans for the future were, and he told us he was looking to reach even greater heights. “I’ve had this idea to jump off the Empire State Building and land in a glass of Ribena, so once I get out of here I’ll check it out on Google.”
Let’s hope this bold attempt doesn’t see 
