Livingston owner and double identity man Pearse Flynn is reported to have caused outrage in his hometown of Guinness, Ireland. The ruthless Livi boss, who last week sacked 64 African immigrants that were working in the Conference and banqueting department has only gone and paid off 16 of his cast in Lord of the dance. 
Flynn, or Michael Flatley as he is known in Ireland, has been told to stay away from Guinness by Mayor Martin O’Neil.
We tracked down Flynn in his hideaway in the East End of Glasgow, and to our surprise, he broke down and started crying.
Wiping away the tears, he said “it’s no me, I only follow orders from Felicity Shagpenny! I always seem to be the one to take the blame”
Then to our surprise, Flynn started Irish Dancing shouting “Yo da leee deee,” then he turned round looking at us with evil eyes and shouted “your sacked” at this point, we explained to Flynn that we were not employed by him, and left when Flynn started oiling himself up in preparation for tonight’s match against Highland United.
When the fans champion contacted Shagpenny, she said “if you have a penny, I’ll give you a…” at that point, we swiftly left, without giving Shagpenny a length.
Next time on the Daily Tabloid, Livi dictator Maurice Spliff denies drug taking allegations.
