Daily Tabloid - Livi astronaut sensation

Last updated : 17 December 2004 By Oliver Sputnik

MacFarlane in training last week
Livingston has it’s first astronaut, and that’s official.

Shock news has this evening reached the LiviUltras office that a secret NASA mission successfully landed a craft on the surface of Mars at 2135 GMT today. And on board was a crew of 3 astronauts, including one from Livingston.

This bold pioneer has been identified as James MacFarlane, a 3 year-old blue tongued skink from Craigshill.

Reports are sketchy at the moment, however we understand that MacFarlane’s crew members, 5 year old Russian geko Sasha Sukyakokov and 4 year old American monitor lizard Hank Budweiser IV, made a text-book landing on the summit of Olympus Mons before leaving the craft and planting their respective national flags in the red dusty Martian soil.

There are no reports of any speeches being made by the trio, however we understand MacFarlane was proudly wearing his amber & black Livi scarf as he raised the Saltire. He flicked his blue tongue several times to taste the alien environment before returning to the craft for a well earned bowl of locusts.

As Livi fans, we should all be very proud of this heroic lizard.