Daily Tabloid - Robbo in underage drinking probe

Last updated : 18 December 2004 By Oliver Twist

Robertson outside the Nite Spot yesterday
Hearts boss John Robertson was last night left raging at Almondvale security chiefs following an ID mix-up at the stadium.

The former Lions hero was visiting his old stomping ground to inspect the pitch ahead of Saturday’s game with Hearts when he tried popping into the stadium bar for a lunchtime shandy with a few old colleagues. However, he was stopped at the door by bouncers and requested to produce ID to prove his age.

“I couldn’t believe it!”
squeeked 4’6” Robertson. “I’ve played for Hearts, Scotland and Livi, been on TV loads but they still wouldn’t believe I was over 18. Just because they’re all over the 5 foot limit doesn’t give them the right to discriminate like that.”

Indeed, even the intervention of Livi no 4 Oscar Rubio failed to gain Robertson admission, as he too was denied entry due to having a “stupid looking beard thing” according to one of the security staff.

A disgruntled Robertson and Rubio were forced to make a humiliating departure from Almondvale on their BMXs, and instead headed to McDonalds for a Happy Meal.

Lionheart agent Pierce Brosnan has promised to take action over the incident. “I’ll cast my Goldeneye over the matter and act accordingly” he promised. “I’m just going to discretely unzip my masseuse’s uniform with my secret magnetic watch first.”