Gough has this week been bemoaning the fact that it's been a bit windy and has also rained quite heavily recently. Has he really forgotten what Scotland is like in January or has his grey matter been microwaved by to many mid-day training sessions under the desert sun?
It's a well publiscised fact that Gough spent almost 4 weeks earlier this year learning all he knows about football management from Durk 'Dusty' Kawowlski (88), water boy for the 'Benson Bobcats'. The Bobcats are an all girls team who play in the Tuscon under 12 girls 'mini round robin - everyones a winner - league, winning it for 3 consecutive semestors from Mar 02 'til Aug 02, along with 14 other teams.
The Daily Tabloid contacted 'Dirk' who fondly remembered Goughs time shadowing him. "Vincent [Van Gough] is a guy I remember fondly. He followed me around like a lost sheep for a month or so but to be honest he spent most of the time fixing his drooping barnet, as the glue kept melting so quickly in this heat. It never drops below 90 all year", he drawled.
From this hastily thrown together piece of jounalism The Daily Tabloid has deduced that Gough has not only no memory to speak of, he has probably lost his marbles as well. It's just well that he has his old Squash buddy John Knox to help him find his seat in the dug-out or else the team would take to the field with no idea as to what formation to play or tactics to employ.
The more synical amongst you may have suspected this already.