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Fri 4th - Daily Tabloid - Let's get ready to rumble!

Last updated : 03 February 2005 By Yerma Willdo

An SPL report leaked to The Daily Tabloid today has revealed exciting plans to have a massive free for all on the steps outside Hampden Park, Glasgow to decide who gets relegated if 2 or more teams finish the season bottom of the league with equal points.

The document outlines how the ‘last man standing’ skirmish will allow teams who have been gash all season one final chance to roll up their sleeves and get fired into the opposition in a last gasp attempt to avoid the dreaded drop to the lower leagues.

Livingston manager Vincent Van Gough (77) insisted that he would be more than happy to march his troops to SPL safety in this manner. “If I was given the chance to legally swing for that fat wee chump Ian McCall I’d take it, no questions asked. Do you think they’ll allow weapons?”

A good old fashioned 'fisticuffs', yesteryear

If Livingston do find themselves involved in the proposed ‘punch up’ then they may have to take on either or both of the Dundee teams. You would have to imagine that Utd would be the weaker of the two as they are a team of skinny freaks whereas although Dundee are a team of skinheads, they are all under 15 years of age.

So it seems that there is the possibility that Livingston FC will soon have to live up to its nickname ‘The Livi Boot Boys’. Get stuck in lads! Here at Tabloid HQ, we’re right behind you!

Get into them! Get into them!

**BREAKING NEWS**
There are rumours abound that McCall will be shown the door at Tannadice after Dundee Utd's Scottish Cup game with QoS this weekend. If that's the case then we at Tabloid HQ would advocate that Van Gough would still deserve the right to give him a spanking like never before. The tickets for a 'fight' like this where the wee fat chump got seven colours of chewing gum knocked from his gap toothed mouth would surely sell like 'hot cakes'?
**BREAKING NEWS**