The Tabloid understands Vincent Van Gough is set to make another signing as Livi get set to battle for SPL survival in the last 5 games of the season.
However, Van Gough has surprised pundits by signing a striker to help shore-up the Lions’ leaky defence. Local boy Mark Yardley, the 39 stone former Craigshill Forest, St Mirren and Albion Rovers hitman, will put pen to paper tomorrow at Almondvale in a deal worth 3 Mars Bars and a can of Lilt.
Explaining his unusual move, Van Gough told this afternoon’s press conference “it’s no secret that Livi’s defence has been as watertight as a burst sieve, so I’m taking action to help put a stop to this.” But when it was pointed out Yardley is a striker, not a defender, Van Gough wryly added “I know, that’s the beauty of it. My plan is to have Yards patrol the 6 yard box and retreat into the goalmouth if the opposition attacks. He takes up most of the goal area, so all we need is Roddy at the back jumping to catch anything that gets through. Means I can free-up 3 or 4 defenders to bolster the midfield. Genius eh?”
Confused and surprised as we were, we asked Van Gough’s assistant John Knox for his thoughts. “Who cares? There’s no Pope in
Since being freed by Albion Rovers for putting on 17 stone in 3 weeks, Yardley has been earning a living licking the grills at McDonalds on
So at least one man is loving it (ba-ra ba ba BA), but how the Lions faithful react may be another matter altogether. 