Mon 7th - Daily Tabloid - McCall is sacked by Utd

Last updated : 08 February 2005 By Roy Race
Latest reports from Tannadice would lead us here at Tabloid HQ to believe that Edith Thomson (88), the entrepeneur behind the Dundee chain of shops 'Thon Job Centre' has finally lost patience with Ian McCall after the pair met up today in a boozer to sort out their differences.

McCall is alleged to have began the meeting by sinking 'two or three pints, swiftly followed by a similar number of large whiskies'. Onlookers have revealed that the pair got a little hot under the collar, as they were sitting beside the open coal fire, with Thomson, who made the majority of her vast fortune selling 'single fags' to school kids in the 70's, at one stage seen removing her winter coat.

The meeting seemed to be winding amicably down when McCall, who was by this time clearly buckled, stumbled on the edge of the fire side rug and head butted a stunned Thomson to the ground. In the ensuing stramash, an as yet unidentified individual emptied the pub chewing gum machine and made off with a supply of spearmint, regular mint and fruitlicious.
A typical Dundee floor covering, yesterday


This would appear to have been the icing on the cake, or 'The Lino on the floor' as they say In Dundee, for Thomson, who immediately sacked McCall and was last seen speaking to PC Murdoch as a group of lads tried to knock the rotund PC's bunnet off with snowballs or rocks.

With Utd having been royally humped by Rangers reserves in the CIS cup last midweek, supporters have been demanding his head on a stick. One young lad wearing dungarees and sitting on a bucket with a moose up his jook told the Tabloid "We demand that chumps head on a stick! Then we'll awa' up Stoorie Brae and toss it off, then each other. It's a tradition up here, Jings!"

Another disgruntled Dunderheadonian was overheard to say "Mind that time we took Daphne Broon roond the back o' Tony's Chipper? Help ma boab! Whit a night that wiz!"

**BREAKING NEWS**
It seems that we have got the wrong end of the stick. News on the wire is telling us that McCall has actually won a reprieve, and not been boxing whilst on the peeve. Our mistake. ;)
**BREAKING NEWS**