Monday 24th - Daily Tabloid - We're in trouble: who you gonna call?

Last updated : 24 January 2005 By Egon

Ferenc Horvath, yesterday
The Daily Tabloid can today EXCLUSIVELY reveal the real reason Livi boss Vincent Van Gough signed the trio of Hungarian players.

Movie fans have swamped the Tabloid switchboard with claims that they’ve seen towering Ferenc Horvath somewhere before, and following our painstaking enquiries we can reveal that they are indeed correct. For Horvath is also known as Vigo, the evil spectral demon from beyond the grave, last seen in the 1989 smash-hit Ghostbusters 2.

THAT painting of Vigo last night
Van Gough signed the wicked giant with the express intention of scaring the opposition into submission. And with the keyholder and gatekeeper, Gabor Vincze and Atilla Kriston, at his side, plans are in place for domination of the living realm, as well as SPL survival.

However, Van Gough’s visions may be scuppered by a new SPL regulation stating that all registered non-British nationals MUST have birth certificates proving they were born in the 20th century. Vigo is known to be somewhere in the region of 1200 years old.

But should Van Gough’s plan fail, the Daily Tabloid understands he will use his vast managerial experience to sign a 200ft tall marshmallow man on a free from Bosnian side FC Velez Mostar to help shore-up the Lions’ leaky defence.