Sat 16th - TABLOID - Sir Tom Farmer in pie donation shock

A slice of the elusive humble pie, this morning

It would seem that demand for humble pie has outstripped supply, and restless queues of irate Hibernian supporters have been growing outside bakeries all around the area. Our source in the capital reported trouble started brewing around 3:45 this afternoon, but full-blown chaos hit 45 minutes later, leading to the emergency appeals for help.

However help may be at hand in the shape of Kwik-Fit tycoon Sir Tom Farmer CBE who has offered to donate over 1,000 humble pies from his own private stock. Yet this act of extreme generosity has come with a ragged edge as Farmer scolded the local community. “Last March the city was hammered by an identical crisis following the CIS Cup Final defeat at Hampden” he seethed, “yet the lesson has clearly not been learned. This is a disgrace! When will they get the message that idle boasting and bragging is a dangerous thing?”

West Lothian bakeries too have received an increased demand for humble pie from time-warped Edinburgh immigrants, however most closed early regardless leaving several irate and bitter Hibbys to ferment in their own bile as enlightened locals pointed and laughed.

Reports that some Hibernian fans in the west of Edinburgh have been seen jumping off the Forth Bridge have yet to be confirmed by Lothian & Borders Police.