Sun 13th - Sunday Tabloid - Gough exposed as charlatan

In the last few weeks it has become clear that Vincent Van Gough (67), is clearly not up to the required standard - the standard being retaining Livingston FC's place in the SPL.

Rumour has it that Gough and his best friend cum assistant, John Knox (74), spend the majority of their time at Almondvale surfing the web looking at porn sites and drinking pineapple flavoured 'Hooch', as Alex Clelland attempts to train the players, who clearly have one eye on their summer holidays already.

The sad after effects of a barrel of Hooch, yesterday

LFC Bigwig Pearse 'Brosnan' Flynn (99) has become increasingly concerned as his 'hobby team' remain rooted at the bottom of the league, despite allowing Gough to sell the club carpets in an attempt to bring in much needed income. While the playing staff are now training on bare floorboards, Gough has blown his 'war chest' on sweets, juice, jazz mags and 7 players nobody has ever heard of.

Ever the fans champion, The Daily Tabloid has instigated investigational investigations into the alleged 'experience' that Vincent Van Gough allegedley brings to LFC's footballing table.

Early reports have indicated that Gough is a no good, two bit, low down, shiny shoed, charlatan who has a history of hoodwinking the rich and gullible into parting with their readies on a regular basis.

We have exclusively spoken with Randy 'Krugerand' Kruger (12), assistant 'short stop' for the Milwaukee 'Dingalings', an under 10 boys team who play in the 'mini soccer match up league round robin works team for poorly kids' in the Fairbanks district of Wisconson, who was less than positive when asked for his opinion on the Ex-Rangers legend. "Ah'll tell you this and you listen good, you here? He was meddling around with ma affairs and ah'd have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that pesky kid. The funfair plans were this close, this close to fruition and make no mistake, you hear me boy? He'd better watch his back when I get paroled. Cotton picking varmint!"

"Ahem, that joker is never a manager" he added when we paid the promised 10$.

When told of our early reports, Brosnan thanked us for our journalistic integrity (we told him we were going to keep shtume, more fool him) and promised to order a fast black pronto style for Gough and his backroom buddie Knox, first thing Monday (tomorrow) morning.

Why wait 'til tomorrow Pearse? Order that taxi ASAP!