Sun 26th - Sunday Tabloid - Bunn loses plot!

Billie Bunn Yesterday

Livi councillor Billy Bunn today hit out after Livingston were fined £30,000 after last weeks call off at Almondvale when the Lions were due to savage the Jam “smelly” Tarts. Bunn (47) was said to be furious at the call off after he lost out on his free hospitality and was said to be devastated at losing out on his Turkey meal. We tracked down Bunn at his 34-room mansion. He snarled at our reporter “did you bring my Turkey” and when we told him we didn’t, he snapped “ya f*ck*ng useless bassars, all I wanted was turkey, but you couldn’t even deliver that, I hear your team has been fined thirty fousand pounds, it should have been forty fousand, bunch o amateurs, my beloved Hibs wouldn’t do this to me”. He then told us to get oorf his land as his weekly 10 tonne delivery of Brylcream was about to be delivered.

The SPL board met up on Christmas night, on the agenda was the terrible terrible frozen pitch fiasco, and the Old Firm shame game, where it is alleged that Martin O’Neil and Alex McLeish had a boxing match in the centre circle, and the Rangers & Celtic players caused a riot in Glasgow by their shameful bigoted behaviour. Over 9000 people rioted in the City Centre and more than 200 shops were set ablaze, 400 cars set alight and 30 police officers were taken to hospital.

The SPL found Livingston guilty of gross misconduct, stating that such thing should never happen in the brilliant SPL, and that such a disgraceful situation should warrant a £30.000 fine, and a 23-point penalty.

Livi owner in waiting, Pierce Brosnan was disappointed in the outcome, but didn’t want to get punished anymore by the SPL board. He said “the dictatorship (the SPL board) have had a lengthy investigation into the frozen pitch fiasco, and have done what they think is right, we can only go along with these wonderful people”

The SPL board fined the Glasgow Police £147 for their part in the Old Firm shame game, and fined Rangers and Celtic £20 each, suspended for 2000 years. They also suggested that referees give them a penalty (or two) a game for all the inconvenience caused.

Keep on reading the Tabloid for all the latest unbiased crap.