Livingston supporters will be shocked and saddened to hear that Livi owner and secret 007 agent Pearse “The Devil” Brosnan has cancelled Christmas at Almondvale.
The Irishman, who is known for his love of picking his nose and sacking people not associated with Celtic Football Club, strolled into Almondvale where Wee Billy had just finished decorating the tree when Flynn (65) snapped. “How much did that cost ya wee hun fecker, there’ll be no Christmas at this club” he said, before ordering Billy Boy to take the tree down and return it to ASDA for a £5 refund.
We tracked down Mr Flynn at his penthouse in the Deer Park Heights area of Livingstone who did confirm that Christmas was in fact cancelled at Livi, but not for everyone!
“Paul Lambert is getting it off cos he used to be captain, and Dalglish is also getting time off as he’s getting me a signed photo of King Kenny” Flynn said, holding a class of pink Champagne and shouting “bah humbug”.
We told Mr Flynn that that wasn’t exactly fair and that we were going to print the story on the fans champion, The Daily Tabloid, when out of the blue (or brown) a couple of so-called-supporters appeared from Brosnan’s rear and tried to head but me in a Gazza like fashion.
We promptly left the vicinity after kneeing the smallest one in the testicles and ran like Linford whilst giving them the vickies.
We tried to contact Mr Brosnan again last night, but his spokesman Mo Spliff said that Brosnan was in a very lengthy meeting with East Kilbride Council and he wasn’t available for comment.
Yet another shocking story, exclusively revealed here on Livingston F.C’s most up-to-date website on t’intenet – www.liviultras.com