Following intense media speculation, Livingston FC this evening denied the rumour sweeping across many downmarket back pages that it’s set to sign Alonso Perez du Guzman, the 7th Duke of Medina Sidonia, during the forthcoming transfer window.
The press gossip factory has been working overtime recently, with low quality tabloids manufacturing all sorts of tall tales linking almost every player with every club. However Livi have taken the unprecedented step of publicly denying the fabricated trial period allegedly given to Medina Sidonia, famous for the defeat of his Armada by Sir Francis Drake in 1588.
Speaking exclusively to the fans’ champion TABLOID, Chief Executive and Grade A sex kitten, Vivienne Kyles told us “This is all just rubbish, and there’s no truth in it whatsoever.”
With her nipples becoming visibly more pert with every word, she continued “I appreciate the papers need something to fill their back pages, but it would help if they could at least TRY to make an effort to get it right just once. Lazy, sloppy and unprofessional journalism of this nature makes we want to get my chebs out for Playboy again.”
Medina Sidonia was unavailable for comment last night as he has been dead since 1615.
