1. Footymad
  2. Livi Mad
  3. Ultras Features
  4. Daily Tabloid

TABLOID - Leishman faces the fans' wrath

Last updated : 20 November 2005 By Judas Escariot

Leishman pontificates outside Aldo's Chip Shop, yesterday
Following the humiliation of watching his team being dumped to the foot of the table by Livi yesterday, Dunfermline boss Jim Leishman faced the wrath of the Pars’ fickle fans at a stormy meeting in Aldo’s chip shop in the town’s Carnegie Drive.


Apparently Leishman was attempting to buy himself two chicken suppers and a pickled egg when an irate Pars fan spotted him. Word soon got round, and by the time Leishman left Aldo’s, a large crowd of around 3 supporters was waiting to meet him. Leishman appeared taken aback by the mob’s sudden appearance and dropped his pickled egg. The fans then began pressing the Freddy Boswell impersonator for an explanation of his team’s poor showing an hour or so earlier.


Leishman then threw his hands into the air, scattering chips and chicken in all directions, before bellowing “I am a God! I am YOUR God! I am the saviour of Dunfermline and you are my flock - bow down before me now!” But when the angry fans refused to do so, Leishman was then forced to attempt placation through the medium of verse:


You may yell with all of your might

That Dunfermline are totally shite

But please never fear

For your voices I hear

And I’ll tell you what you think is right


We were dumped into 12th spot today

And I know it has caused much dismay

But both Yorkston and I

Will just tell you a lie

So piss off and get out of my way


Leishman then made good his escape on a stolen Raleigh Chopper whilst the confused mob stood motionless trying to work out why some of the words rhymed.