At last! New stuff is finally available in the Club Shop (Sundays only, 00:45 - 01:00)....

The Club Shop, last night
Following Pearse Brosnan’s reworking of Livingston FC’s merchandising, the club today announced an exciting new product range for sale at the club shop from Monday. Or whenever you can find someone to open it.

Members of the Lionheart consortium have been regular readers of the Livi message boards and this is evident in the new products on offer. The fans wanted, the Club’s delivered:

  • Official Livi Handbags - the ideal status symbol for any lady about town, as well as the perfect weapon for men to wield during senseless arguments on the boards. “I keep my Mega-Busta bras and ‘Black Rabbit’ in mine” said Viv Kyles.

  • Official Livi darts, made from titanium with amber flights incorporating the club badge. A perfect partner for the new Official Paul Lambert dartboard.

  • Shop assistant Dov, yesterday
    Official Livi “Letterman” sweater. Made by Xara from the highest quality natural wool, this garment is in traditional Livi amber with a large letter R (for relegation) on the left breast and sleeves.

  • Official Livi “Where’s Tony?” book, perfect for the younger Livi fan, providing hours of entertainment for young minds as they scour the pages in search of the elusive Tony Kinder and his famous troosahs.

We spoke to volunteer Club Shop assistant Dov who was only too happy to sing the new range’s praises. “That stuff’s alright” he said standing on a box to appear tall, “but I’ve got some real quality gear under the counter, if you know what I mean? Red hot from Holland, downloaded it myself last night so it’s all the best of gear. Free box of Livi tissues with every DVD.” he said rubbing his fingerles gloves together.