Following-on from Livi’s 1-1 draw, the Tabloid last night received sensational news concerning opponents Grangemouth FC’s brand new council-built half stadium.
Grangemouth fans have long howled derision and scorn at Livingston FC and her supporters, branding Almondvale Stadium a “Council-subsidised, Lego built, soul-less hole.” However, now they have one of their own, it suddenly appears to be a perfectly acceptable arrangement north of the River Avon.
Despite the fact skinflint Falkirk Council Tax payers only shelled-out for one & a half stands plus a gazebo, mystery surrounded the provider of floodlighting to the ground. But following our tip-off, the Tabloid can EXCLUSIVELY reveal an ICI/BP consortium has agreed to foot the bill, allowing Grangemouth chairman Christie Campbell to keep his personal fortune all to himself.
The Consortium has agreed to pump more natural gas out the flares at nearby Grangemouth Oil refinery on matchdays, increasing illumination by a staggering 42%. This not only saves Grangemouth FC the embarrassment of having floodlights but no stands, it also provides the impoverished local community free illumination for the duration of a game.
Occasional socialist and fat-cat,
“Piss off, I’m telling you lot nothing. It’s none of your business what or how Grangemouth FC goes about its business. Now I’m a busy Trade Unionist, and have a Tory rally to attend in an hour, so bugger off and leave me in peace!”
BP and ICI however did provide a statement expressing their pleasure in working with Grangemouth FC, and further emphasised their commitment to helping the local community, being as they are a shower of Worzels. “Most of them can’t afford a candle never mind a lightbulb, so we’re putting all our experience in dealing with 
