New Livi manager John Robertson may be taking all the plaudits just now for his footballing prowess, however the fans’ champion Tabloid last night uncovered details of his seedy past.
Following an anonymous tip-off from Caley Thistle’s Charlie Christie, we have managed to unearth details of Robertson’s past he’s so-far managed to keep buried. For it transpires that whilst playing for Hearts, Robertson was spending most evenings trawling the back streets of
Once news of our investigation reached the seedy underworld of insect clownery, witnesses came forward attesting to the fact they’d seen Robertson:
- PAY to watch fleas jump on tiny trampolines
- OGLE as fleas rode around on mini bicycles
- LAUGH as fleas were forced to leap from one plastic tub to another
We confronted Robertson about his depraved double-life and after initial denials he eventually broke-down and confessed all.
“Yes I admit it, I love fleas” he sobbed. “At first I was satisfied with the flea-ridden Hearts supporters, but soon I found I needed more. The lure of the flea circus was too much and in no time I found myself paying tens of pounds to watch them perform.”
“My Siphonapteraism was running out of control, but Jim Leishman took me under his wing and helped me get through the withdrawals. His oxters are so sweaty fleas just can’t survive there” he continued with no shame.
We naturally contacted Pearse Brosnan to inform him of his new employee’s backstreet life. “I don’t give a feck” he said.