The Deans area of 
For it seems that people in the town have taken to wearing baboon’s arses instead of their own.
We spoke to local midget resident, David Charles, and asked him just what it was all about. Wearing a marmoset’s arse (as a baboon’s is too big), 3ft high Charles told us “I was buyingbunion pads in Morrison’s last week when I saw this bloke walking by with a huge, swollen purple arse. I was quite startled, but the more I saw it, the more I wanted one just like it. So I went to the ‘Primate’s Arse Emporium’ - next to the Mari Blu chippy - and bought one. The rest, as they say, is now history.”
Local schoolchildren quickly adopted the trend, and now almost every pubescent in the town is sporting a baboon’s arse, although senior pupils seem to prefer wearing silverbacks’ or chimpanzees’ instead.
Yet the craze does not seem to have gone down well with all 
We contacted the owner of the ‘Primate’s Arse Emporium’, David Charles, and asked him how he’s coping with the rush. “We’re doing alright” squeaked the midget in a voice which sounded like he was breathing helium. “I’m down to my last 4 baboon arses so will have to contact my source in Mid Calder to see if he can poach some more.”
“Beats welding anyway” he added.