Thu 20th - Daily Tabloid - Missing days shock

Last updated : 20 January 2005 By Bungle Zippysucker

A man during the missing days, yesterday
The Daily Tabloid last night discovered it has several days missing. Investigations by officially sanctioned day counters confirmed that Tuesday and Wednesday have completely vanished.

So shocked were we with this apparent loss that we immediately contacted a giant Madagascan Tree Frog called Hubert to see if he had seen the missing days. Sadly he was less than helpful, and merely sat inflating and deflating his lower jaw before hopping into some nearby bushes.

We next contacted seven pygmy warriors from Upper Volta in the hope that they would have spare days we could exchange for backdated copies of The Dandy, however they had recently sold all their days to Kevin and had none left.

Our last hope was a spare day which was known to hang from a girder 217ft up the central support on the Forth Bridge, but again our hopes were dashed when this turned out to be Monday, and we already had a Monday.

So, painful as it is, The Daily Tabloid must apologise to you, our loyal readers, for the unpardonable sin of losing two days. We will do our best to ensure that all days are kept securely locked away from now on until required, and hope their disappearance does not detract from your enjoyment.