Tue 26th - TABLOID - Special Editorial

EEN editor, Ivor Weecock, last night.

Recently, the paper’s coverage of Livingston FC has been slashed from 1 page to a single column, heralding a sea change in its treatment of Lothian’s western extremity. But last night, editor in chief, Ivor Weecock, issued an editorial calling for everything west of Newbridge to be banned. In it he said:

“It is a known fact that when God created the Earth, he made Edinburgh first, and indeed Eve ate that fateful apple in what is now The Meadows. We, as Edinburgers, must do our utmost to prevent the creeping infestation of subspecies from invading our hallowed boundary. West Lothian is the enemy at our door and is naught but a nest where these creatures are bred, and it must be wiped forever from existence.”

“They stole one of our most beloved institutions, Meadowbank Thistle FC, and recreated it in their own graven image. We pandered to this for too long, especially when ‘Livingston FC’, as they renamed it, became more successful than the mighty Hearts and Hibs. But the time has come to say ‘NO MORE’ and that is what the Edinburgh Evening News plans to do.”

Naturally this has caused shockwaves across West Lothian, with many anxious residents now cancelling subscriptions and burning back issues in protest. And your fans’ champion Tabloid backs them all the way!

Just who do these jumped-up, xenophobic egomaniacs think they are? What gives them the right to belittle West Lothian and her citizens like this, especially after so many years of loyal readership? And are you going to sit idly by and let them do this?

The Tabloid calls upon ALL Livi fans to boycott the Evening News immediately and to tell as many of your friends and family as possible to do the same. It’s time for US to stand up for West Lothian and Livingston FC, and send a loud message to those narrow-minded idiots in the Capital that they cannot get away with it a second longer.