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Yesterday afternoon, well evening you could call it really, ‘bout half 5 ish it was to be honest, The Daily Tabloid was handed a copy of Top Secret plans that should they come to fruition will see Livi signing the likes of Ronaldo, David Beckham, the Brazilian with the decent left peg and if science can keep him alive, the great Maradona, and challenging for the World Cup within 5 years.
Multi Millionaire and club owner Pearse Brosnan has until now stated that his wildest dreams for Livi was a modest refit of the run down supporters bar, but these shock revelations blow any pre-conceived conceptions that he is only prepared to spend ‘pin money’ on the Lions, as he has until now.
Our man on the inside told us that “He [Brosnan] has more moolah than a camel, you know, does, and now that the previous crowd have handed over the shares, he is finally prepared to loosen the purse strings and spend spend spend!”
Brosnan (55) is famous for his undying love of Star
Trek and is often found in the company of aliens and alien wannabees when he is not watching the Lions when they play Celtic. 
Could it be possible that Livingston Football Club could find itself in a position to sign the very first alien international player?
After the recent money problems the club has had that has seen them import some of the poorest players from some of the weakest football leagues around Europe, including the English lower leagues, what a turn up for the books that would be!
Beam us up Pearse!