Wed 5th - Daily Tabloid - Van Gough's transfer window fear

Last updated : 05 January 2005 By CR Smith

A transfer window, last night
Livi manager “Vincent” Van Gough last night admitted his secret fear over the impending transfer window.

Speaking candidly in The Tower Bar, Craigshill, he told our undercover reporter that he’s had many a sleepless night as D-day looms nearer. “I’ve just moved into a caravan up at Deans Industrial Estate, and to be honest I don’t think I can afford a new window” he said. Supping on a pint of Export and drawing heavily on a huge cigar, Van Gough continued “we all know Livi are on a budget so I’m not getting that much a month you know. I need a new quilt, so that’ll have to take priority over the window.”

The Daily Tabloid spoke to uPVC glazing specialist, Paddy O’Dores, to find out just why Van Gough is so upset. “The transfer window is a once-a-year sale” he advised “this can be a daunting time for some people: the choice of transfer windows available is staggering these days!”

And indeed, Mr O’Dores is quite right, as we found a wide range of uPVC, wood, aluminium, brass, iron and plastic framed windows in one firm’s catalogue alone, so Van Gough has our sympathy.

Just one word of advice however folks: when buying a transfer window, always make sure the catch conforms to BS7795. That way you’ll know it will close properly after January.


Livingston through the ages #16

During the 1973/74 season, Livingston FC undertook a 3 match tour of the
Fernandez senior holds the ball cheekily
West coast of South America. Despite losing all 3 games with an aggregate score of 43-0, ‘The Lions’ had an enjoyable time, drinking ‘til all hours and generally causing mayhem in the small towns where the bus would break down.

In one small shanty town, long time Livi fan and local handy man, Rodriguez Hernandez Fernandez swore on his unborn sons life that when he (his son) grew up, that he would don the famous Plain Amber and Black and White Striped shirt with pride.

It's amazing to think that after all of these years that it really did happen and that young 'David' now warms Celtics John Hartsons training socks every morning.