Livi manager Vincent Van Gough (note the reversion to his own name due to shouts of “Fug” falling silent since last week) has launched an audacious bid to improve the Lions’ strike rate. For despite the recent upturn in goal scoring, Van Gough is determined to bolster his squad with additional forwards to keep the goals coming.
Assistant John Knox has been casting his eye over
We spoke to Van Gough and asked him why he’s decided that Hobbits are the way ahead. “Well, I’ve always believed that small and fast go together” he said, “so four lightning fast Hobbits will run rings - 'rings' geddit? - round opposing defenders, especially as they’re only about waist high to most of them.”
“Also, have you seen the size of their feet?” Van Gough remarked with amazement. “They’re massive! I’ve seen Frodo hit free kicks from 50 yards out, it’s incredible!”
However, Shire manager Gollum Smeagol is not so happy about the impending loss of his four start players. “We hateses Van Gough! He takes our precious from us and we don’t likes it, do we my love? Oh, we wants them back!” he said to himself last night. 
But the SPL may yet block the move as there is some uncertainty whether or not Hobbits require work permits as Middle Earth is not officially recognised as a foreign country by FIFA. 