You only Viv twice!

Lionheart boss Pierce Brosnan last night caused Livi’s General Manager Vivien Kyles to feel a little shaken but not stirred following a minor misunderstanding.

Pierce, or 007 as he prefers to be called, has always spoken of his love for the Isle of Bute, having several holiday homes, a farm plus a concentration camp for pensioners on the Firth of Clyde island. Indeed, he is presently renovating Rothesay Castle where he plans to start a llama farm in the near future.

However, following a board meeting at Almondvale, Brosnan was discussing his holiday plans for next year, which involve sailing his private yacht and its crew right around the island. “It’s something I’ve wanted to do for ages” he told reporters, “and next year I’m going to do it, I’m just going to go for it!” However, it was at this point Ms Kyles (13) was passing, and where the misunderstanding began.

For when asked his favourite sailing location, Brosnan yelled “Kyles a’ Bute!” in his thick Irish accent. Ms Kyles (17) was clearly shocked by this, however when Brosnan continued “I want to get as far up the Kyles as my seamen will take me” Ms Kyles (27) proceeded to pour a jug of water over his head then slap his face before marching away in disgust.

An astonished Brosnan then hurried after Ms Kyles (9) where we understand the matter was resolved, as a red-faced but grinning Ms Kyles (78) appeared from her office half an hour later, followed by and equally red, but grinning, Brosnan.