Tue 1st - Daily Tabloid - They're here, they're, they're everywhere!!! **More sightings**

Callers from all over East Central Scotland and beyond have inundated us here at Tabloid HQ with alleged sightings of Livingston Chairman Tony Kinder-Eggs missing White Spandex Flares, after we pleaded for information as to their whereabouts.

Our Hotline (07979 863811) has been red hot with numerous sightings of the valuable trews being reported.

The biggest Creme Egg in the world, yesterday

For the first time in Tabloid history, we have been moved to offer a reward for information that leads to the capture and subsequent return of Tony's Trews, and it seems that the 2 Creme Eggs on offer have been the catalyst for some interesting, and some quite obviously fabricated sightings being reported by Tabloid readers in attempts to secure the 2 Eggs (Kwik Fakt - Did you know that Creme Eggs are only sold between January and Easter? It's true you know!).

We've already reported an alleged sighting of the offending Spandex Flares in a 'same sex' eatery on the outskirts of Leicester, where a man returning from the dancefloor noticed that the bag they had been neatly folded up in, had been removed by persons unknown.

A concerned West Lothian resident wishing only to be known as 'Disco Dave' called in at the ungodly hour of 4.30am this morning with news that there is a guy who works down his local chippie who claims he is Elvis, but that was a lie, as he went to Inveralmond High School in the 90's and was a nerd.
"There's this guy right, who thinks he's Elvis, but he's not the bounciest ball on the beach, if you know what I mean. He usually wears a pair of red shell suit trousers when he's on his pizza delivery bike, but yesterday he was wearing what can only be described as Sunshine White Bell Bottoms that hung low on the hips."

One of many less than believable sightings with the 'sightee' clearly more interested in the 2 Creme Eggs than the safe return of the antique pantaloons was Miriam McGonnigle from Dedridge in Livingston, who texted in to say "My Milkmn ushly werz white drainpipes whn delivern his pintz of milk but ths morn wz sportn a pr o whte flarz as he gave me 1. Do I win the Eggz?" No such luck Miriam, we need more than the rants of a desperate houswife before we hand out the eggs!

We'll continue to keep you updated with any news on Tony's missing White Spandex Flares as we get it.