Legendary botanist and TV naturalist, Lord David Attenborough, today revealed to the world the existence of a new species of venomous snake - in
Scotland
“The new species has been named ‘Sleekitus Yorkstonius’ and it’s utterly deadly” he told our stunned reporter. “To look at, it’s nothing stunning: it’s fairly small and insignificant actually. It will avoid your stare, which is unusual for a snake, but as soon as you turn your back it strikes. Its preferred habitat is artificial surroundings, and it has a deep dislike of natural vegetation for some unknown reason.”
Clearly excited, he continued “it has a most unusual method of biting. Instead of a full-on strike, it sneaks around and applies it’s venom by stealth, but only when the victim has his back turned. It has a close cousin across the Firth of
So the scientific community is in a whirl about this new snake, but is it likely to spread across the
“It’s a possibility” Lord Attenborough replied disturbingly. “I have heard of one case in
So the message to all in West Lothian is watch your backs - there’s a snake from